a movie in her head, a mess behind the scenes
by burn my mind
Summary: And she had thought that Louis would make her happier, and in a few ways, two ways, he had. Blair centric.


**Title: **a movie in her head, a mess behind the scenes.

**Summary: **And she had thought that Louis would make her happier, and in a few ways, two ways, he had. Blair centric.

**Authors Note: **I don't understand how people can detest me and loath my work but still manage to find the time to obsess over it, read it and leave reviews. Stalking isn't healthy, guys. Anyway, this is set in S5 in an AU world where Blair would of married Louis and had the baby. 5.1O never happened.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

* * *

1.

She had thought that if she married Louis she would get everything she wanted.

She had thought that if she married Louis that she would be happy.

Happiness was the ultimate goal and her prince could provide her with all the happiness she needed.

He _made _her happy.

He complimented her, he cherished her, adored her. He made her feel worthy of something, of someone.

* * *

2.

On a Monday late in the evening she finds herself alone at a hospital.

_Nobody_ is there.

Not Louis, not Serena, not Nate, not Dan.

Not even Dorota.

Her precious baby is born with only her to welcome her into the world, to cover her in cuddles and hugs and kisses and whispers about how they'll make it through.

* * *

3.

He arrives back from Monaco on the Wednesday.

She had wanted the baby to be born in New York, raised in Monaco.

(She didn't really want the last part but had agreed to it.)

He takes one look at her, pats her head before flopping down face first onto her bed and falling asleep.

* * *

4.

He adores Sofia.

Loves her with every single inch of his soul.

Sofia, the name still felt bitter on the edge of her tongue.

Sophie had demanded that their firstborn be named after her somehow.

She watches as Louis spins Sofia around in circles, the three month old letting out short laughs of glee.

* * *

5.

He's always away.

Business, work, travels, helping others in need.

Her life starts revolving around Sofia.

All her friends are long gone, off making sure that they're noticed for how hard they work, not who's last name they carry.

* * *

6.

They get into a fight six months after Sofia's birth after she finds another woman's shirt hidden in his drawers.

She bawls her eyes out and screams and yells and shrieks at him.

She thought he was better than that, better than her past boyfriends.

And he promises that it was a one time thing, blames it on the fact that they hardly ever see each other anymore.

"And who's fault is that?" She screams at him, mascara running down her face.

She runs into the bathroom, locking it behind her, she picks up a cloth, wets it and rubs it over her face.

Deep breaths. It isn't the end of the world.

* * *

7.

She puts on her best smile and re enters the bedroom, everything forgotten and forgiven.

Her tongue delved into the depths of his mouth, his hands on her waist.

Maybe some things can be salvaged.

* * *

8.

She acts as if nothing has happened because her fantasy can't be ruined.

The movie in her head has to be perfect, even if she thought she was past all the make believe.

She cradles Sofia in her arms, singing her soft lullaby's as she falls asleep.

Louis standing in the doorway, his ring hidden into the depths of his pocket, another woman's perfume clinging to him.

* * *

9.

On Sofia's first birthday she tells him the good news, her hands placed firmly on her belly, a warm smile spread across her face.

"I'm pregnant," She whispers softly.

And he hugs her and whispers about how much he loves her as he kisses her all over her face.

His sweet french accent melting away her worries.

* * *

1O.

She finds herself yet again alone as she welcomes their second child into the world.

He calls half an hour afterwords apologizing about how he didn't make it, another woman's laughs in the background.

She smiles and tells him that he shouldn't come home for a few nights.

Sofia's with the nanny and her baby boy is in her arms.

* * *

11.

He returns home after three days and they fight again upon his return.

"Are you cheating on me?" She asks softly, his gaze averted to the ground.

And it's yes, yes, yes.

Because she's not good enough, why would anybody love her?

But she doesn't cry as she silently packs her things.

He tries to stop, begging, pleading for another chance.

Yet she knows it's not because he wants her, it's his image he wants to remain intact.

* * *

12.

She returns to the city with Sofia and her nameless baby boy.

She arrives on Serena's doorstep, Louis Vuitton suitcases around her.

The blonde welcomes her inside with open arms and sorry's about how she wasn't there for her.

They bond over Tiffany's and coffee's and cooing over Sofia and her nameless baby boy.

* * *

13.

"What about Fred? Or George?" Serena asks one evening curled up on the couch as Breakfast at Tiffany's plays on the screen.

Blair shrugs her shoulders, shoveling small amounts of popcorn into her mouth.

Why not? She hadn't had the chance of naming her first born after her idol and she doesn't plan on having any more children.

"Fred." She states with a grin, looking over at her one month old son.

* * *

14.

Nate drops Serena off a week later, their lips swollen and faces glorious.

Serena gushes about their date and how it's going to work out this time.

Nate waves at Blair, smiling in her direction.

He was the first person, other than Serena and Dorota, she had seen since arriving back.

* * *

15.

She's welcomed back into high society at Lily's fundraiser for, oh something or rather, who even cares?

Surprisingly Dan's there, and he waves to her awkwardly and brings her a glass of champagne and they talk about everything and nothing, laughing like old friends do.

"How are you?" He finally asks, genuine concern laced throughout his voice.

How is she?

"Fine."

Because she is, she's fine with everything that's happened and she doesn't feel regret but she isn't happy either.

* * *

16.

Louis and her decide it's better to be on good terms to hate each other.

He stops by to pick up Sofia and Fred, he had laughed on the phone when she told him the latter child's name.

"Really?" He had asked with disbelief.

"Dada!" Sofia squeals, her chubby legs wobbling over towards Louis.

She grins as he talks to Sofia and Fred who barely understand a single word.

* * *

17.

He re-marries two years after their divorce.

An Amber Dureé, who he had been seeing while they were married.

She's happy for him because he does deserve happiness, even after he had destroyed hers.

(But she wasn't really happy to begin with.)

* * *

18.

She runs into Chuck time to time.

Society gatherings, on the street, when she meets up with old friends but they say nothing but polite hello's toward each other until Serena and Nate get engaged.

It happens at the rehearsal dinner, as the maid of honour and best man they would have to share a dance.

His hands are placed awkwardly on her hips and her hands lay on his shoulders stiffly.

His wife is in the room, her eyes drawn towards them, watching their every move.

She doesn't trust them together, not after everything she had learned about their past.

They're both tipsy and Marion, his wife, has gone home and they wind up in a library of some sorts at the Vanderbilt estate and before either of them know what is happening their lips are attached to each others, his hands are roaming her body.

And - after it's finished, Blair seems to sober up.

"It was just a friendly fuck," She tells him, a bitter edge to her voice as she zips up her dress and leaves.

* * *

19.

"Humphrey," Her lips are parted upon with surprise as he hands her a box of Godiva chocolates.

"I was, uh, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go on a date." He asks boldly because he used to be in love with her and after his girlfriend Jessica dumped him he thought, hey, why not give it a shot?

She's taken by surprise by his request but he's her friend and she hasn't been on a date since before she married Louis.

So she says yes.

* * *

2O.

He kisses her goodnight and as soon as he does both know it was a mistake.

"I guess we're better off as friends," He sighs, noticing Sofia hovering behind Blair a few steps back.

The brunette nods her head, brown ringlets shaking around her head.

"It was worth a shot," She offers weakly, pecking him on the cheek and turning around to pick up Sofia.

* * *

21.

She tries her best to avoid Chuck after they descend down the aisle together.

She rolls her eyes as his hands find her waist and her hands find his shoulders.

"We need to talk." He states harshly, no hint of friendliness in his voice.

"About?" She asks innocently, batting her eyelashes as if nothing had transpired between them a week prior.

"Marion _can't _know," As her name floats out of his lips, his eyes lock onto his wife's figure in the crowd.

It feels as if someones stomped on her chest because somewhere deep down she wanted them to have another go, another chance.

"Please, as if I would tell her." She sneers, hands dropping from his shoulders as the song ends.

* * *

22.

And she thought that Louis would make her happier.

And in a few ways, two ways, he had.

* * *

23.

She tucks a five year old Sofia into bed, a four year old Fred perched on the edge of the bed.

Both eagerly awaiting for their bedtime story.

She tells them a tale about a princess and a prince who fight monsters and demons and ghouls and ghosts and they laugh and scream with fear and smile when it ends in happily ever after.

She picks up Fred and carries him to his room, his head resting on her shoulder lazily.

"I love you, mummy." He whispers sleepily.

"I love you, my prince." She pulls the covers up to his chin and presses kisses all over his face.

* * *

**AN: I had fun writing this. I don't think it would actually be out of character for Louis to cheat, he was a dick at their wedding and while that was prompted by the confession that Blair loved Chuck, well, he's been sketchy from the start to me. I also sort of think Blair would forgive him. If you want to know more about what inspired this\character actions head over to my ff tumblr, link on my profile.**


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